can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
