once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
