You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
