I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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