Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
