and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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