I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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