dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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