You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
