come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize