i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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