What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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