glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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