I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
