I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
