Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
