My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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