I bet he comes in French.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
