Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
