so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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