The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
How's work?
Spinning.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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