Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
