There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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