That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
