I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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