It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
