if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize