I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
