? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Randomize
