Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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