didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
