i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Someone shattered a urinal.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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