I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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