I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
