Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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