i may or may not be watching the land before time
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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