Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
His nipple licking is glorious
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