I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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