I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize