Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
