if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
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omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
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I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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