Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
