But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
