So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
