Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
