Your mouth is God's brothel.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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