is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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