Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
