I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
