i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
