I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
