Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
