I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
