Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
