Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
