Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My vagina just recognized that song.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
