totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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