He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
why do cheetos always look like penises
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
